


Find Her

by TardisTexan



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Episode: s06e08 Let's Kill Hitler, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 15:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4485619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisTexan/pseuds/TardisTexan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor knew he would die soon.  River's kiss had certainly done it's job.  But he forced his eyes open again because he wanted to see her, watch her as she approached.  He had one chance to save them both, only seconds to capture the heart of his bespoke psychopath</p>
            </blockquote>





	Find Her

“Ponds listen to me, I need to talk to your daughter,” the Doctor said. His eyes closed, the pain was becoming even more intense. He couldn't move his legs, his arms ached, and his head was swimming. His whole body was heavy, it seemed unreal, like gravity had shifted. One of his hearts had shut down and the other one was skipping beats, too many beats. He knew he would die soon. River's kiss had certainly done it's job. But he forced his eyes open again because he wanted to see her, watch her as she approached. He had one chance to save them both, only seconds to capture the heart of his bespoke psychopath so she would give them both the life he was now very much looking forward to.

When River settled over him, she touched his shoulder. It was so tender and the look in her eyes... It was so clear to him all of the sudden that this woman was his and he was hers. _Time and Space.. you watch us run._ It took everything he had, but he so desperately wanted to touch her that he lifted one hand toward her. He only was able to grasp the edge of her coat, but he used it to pull her closer with the little strength he had. He had put on a show for her and it seemed like it may have worked, but now the end was approaching and it was his last chance. Everything rested on this moment, he had to make it through his own death and put this lost child on the right path. He had been thinking of the words he wanted to say, and now he said them with conviction.

“Find her,” he said, “Find River Song. And tell her something for me.” His heart stuttered and his lungs stopped. The pain was unbearable and the world around River's beautiful face grew dark. But he pushed on, pushed on for a few more seconds as River bent down close to him. It took all the Doctor had, but he used his last breath to whisper to her the words he hoped would be enough.

The Doctor felt his consciousness shrink inside of him. He gathered his will and pushed all his remaining energy to his brain, trying to keep the fire burning. But all too quickly he was drifting, drifting in a sea of darkness, the smell of something, someone(?) nice floating around him. Everything was beyond dark, but he could hear voices in the distance. He felt sad, and lonely, and forgot what he was supposed to be doing. He remembered he had to hang on, hang on for something... if only he could just....

Then the Doctor felt himself rushing back, energy and life and pain flooding his limbs. His lungs opened and he took a deep breath and opened his eyes. His eyes and mind were filled with River. He had known she would save him. It was the only option, the only explanation, but he could instantly see that she was burning too hot. 

“No, River, what are you doing?” he gasped. She was only meant to release enough energy to bring him back, but this was wildly out of control. He reached up for her, tried to push her away but, his body was still too heavy. As she came closer to him, he shook his head, tried to tell her to stop, but when he heard her speak,

“Hello, Sweetie,” 

his hearts burst in longing and pain. Oh River, His young, reckless, brand new River. Suddenly he understood why he never felt her time energy in the times he had met her, she was going to use it right now, all of her energy gone in this act of crazy faith. He tried his best to say something but then her lips were on his and he was helpless.

He returned her kiss as the energy flooded his body and his mind. Her whole being was invading his, bringing him back to life and chasing the pain away. Tears escaped his eyes as he tried to psychically link with her to tell her to stop but they were both carried away by the flood of energy. He was helpless against it. His arms and legs stretched out wide as the familiar feeling washed over him. He focused his mind to keep everything the same, keep this face. He somehow knew he was supposed to. He was so focused and his body was so lost in the waves he lost the feel of her until she slumped against him. His limbs immediately reacted, his arms grabbing her and his eyes flying open. 

“River, River, no..” his voice croaked. One hand came up to touch her face and he was shocked to find her icy cold as the golden energy faded from the air around her. He heard Amy and Rory rushing up and his mind raced, what was he to do? “Help me get her into the TARDIS,” he said, the panic in his voice evident. 

Amy and Rory pulled River up and Rory cradled her into his arms and rushed for the TARDIS. Amy helped pull the Doctor to his feet and followed him into the ship. Rory laid River on the floor, checking her pulse and her breathing. “She's alive, but barely,” he said, frightened, as Amy and the Doctor rushed past him. The Doctor hit the controls, trusting his ship to take them where they needed to go. He knew the old girl wouldn't let her daughter down. He could hear Amy questioning him, but he didn't listen to her or acknowledge her. He brought up the scanner and quickly scanned River's body and then sent the information to a drive. He skidded to the other side of the control panel and plucked the drive out of it's slot and then went over and scooped River up from the floor. As soon as he felt the ship shudder to a stop he threw open the doors and carried River into the hospital. The nurses were all staring at the box, but when they saw the woman being carried out who was obviously in need of help they immediately set to work. One brought a gurney over and the Doctor gently laid her down. He spoke to the nurses quietly and quickly, giving them vital information on River and then handing them the drive. 

Amy and Rory stood watching him, seeing the determination in his face. Rory knew the Doctor was doing his best to save River but he still in too much shock to feel much off anything. He held Amy back as the nurses wheeled River away.

The Doctor scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. 

“The nurses are cats,” Rory said in disbelief, his brain not taking everything in. River, Mels, _his daughter._ “You brought my daughter to cats?”

The Doctor smiled his smile that hid so much and spoke gently to Rory and Amy, “They will take care of her. She's going to be okay, we know she makes it through okay.” But he was still terribly worried. She wasn't a full Time Lady, how would that much energy all at once affect her body? Her mind?

A nurse came to them and told them they could wait in a small waiting room at the end of the hall, and that she would come and get them when there was news. River's parents nodded and slowly started walking away. The Doctor watched them and mumbled to the nurse, “I'll move my box.”

The Doctor moved the TARDIS to just outside of the building. When he landed, the Doctor put both hands on the console and hung his head. When he had realized that River had killed him with her kiss, and there was nothing he could do to stop it, he quickly worked out that she must also save him. She had that whole diary full of his future still to live with her. But it had cost her so much. Once again, the Doctor had cost River everything she had. The first time it had been her life, then it had been her entire childhood, and now it was all of her regenerations. How did that amazing, strong, infuriating wonderful woman possibly love him when he was nothing but misery to her? And now it was all set how she came to be. Mels and Amy and Rory, it was fixed. 

But then the Doctor smiled. Yes, her past was fixed, but this was the day her future began. This was the moment that began River Song and he knew what he had to do. The first thing he did was take the TARDIS back to Germany and into the head of the Teselecta and downloaded as much information as they had. Then he went to the finest book maker he knew and put in his very special order. The Doctor took time then to change out of his tuxedo. The beautiful suit had done it's job, turning her head, making her believe he was someone special. But it was all smoke and mirrors. He wasn't special the way he though. He was selfish, he knew. He had run from her, but now he wanted her and their future, and damned if he wasn't going to get it. He skipped ahead a few days and picked up the blue diary then went back to the hospital, the TARDIS landing about an hour after he had left.

When the Doctor walked into the waiting room, Amy was immediately on her feet. “Where have you been?” she demanded. She was marching up to the Doctor when one of the nurses came in right after him. They all stopped and turned to her. “She's resting comfortably. Come with me and you can see her.”

The nurse explained as they walked that River was physically fine, she just needed rest. They had brought up her temperature and restored her fluids, and other such medical things. Once she awoke, she should recover quickly, but the nurse didn't know how long she would sleep. 

Amy and Rory went in to the room and took River's hands, holding them as she slept. The Doctor stopped just outside the doorway. River was so pale. Her skin was almost as white as the sheets and she was so very still. He had never noticed how small River was. She was such a force of nature that he never noticed how delicate her hands were, how slim her shoulders seemed. It terrified him. He needed to see her, see River strong and wild. Amy looked back at the Doctor and motioned him to come inside. “I'm going to go get the TARDIS, bring it up here, so you can... um.. have some tea or something,” and then he turned to go.

He asked the TARDIS to take him to River and he found her unsurprisingly in the middle of a battle. When he opened the door, he saw she was standing in front of a rag tag group of soldiers. She was yelling at them that this was it, this was the last push and that they were going to hold this city! She turned her head at him and winked at the Doctor then turned back to the soldiers. She was wearing the same red trousers the soldiers were wearing and a white tank top that hugged her curves and showed off great expanses of her tanned skin. She was absolutely covered in soot and dirt, but her hair was free and wild and golden in the sunlight. She was sexy and strong and he felt a pang of desire for her. Her hair swung as she turned her head from one end of the line to the other, encouraging the troops. “Save your families! Save your homes! You will do this! Let's go!” She grabbed a gun and started following the soldiers toward what he supposed was the front. She turned and yelled at the Doctor, “Coming, Sweetie?” so he ran after her. 

The Doctor watched the battle rage and under River's leadership the small group of soldiers did save their city. During the battle, he helped tend to the wounded and resupplied River with whatever she asked him for. By the time the sun set, the wounded were resting in the makeshift hospital and the remaining fighters from the other side were rounded up. He stood watching River in the fading light and was dazzled by her all over again. Brave, strong, and giving him a smile with love in her eyes. Amazing, that was the word for her. He patted his coat pocket and felt the new blue book inside. River was absolutely amazing.


End file.
